| | Don't tell me lifeguarding isn't eventful. Then again, it isn't the lifeguarding itself so much as the being on break that's fraught with interest.
Today was the last day for the outside pool (happy September, y'all), so our superiors had a cookout for us, outside the pool and down the steps. When I say "cookout" I mean there was a little tiny grill like a foot high and Jennifer grilled hamburgers and hot dogs on it. Still technically a cookout; I just don't think I've ever seen a grill that small. And when I say "outside the pool and down the steps" I mean, "I had to give some location but if you've never been there you still have no idea where it is." But none of this is important. The point to remember is that there was food, and there were leftovers.
The cookouting--and don't tell me that's not a word. It obviously is or I couldn't have used it--was around 4:00, and we all got hungry, whether we'd eaten earlier or not, around 6:30 or 7:00. Josh and Laken and I were hovering about the desk, eating chips. Laken wandered off about the time Jacob wandered on, so he missed the hilarity.
Anyway, Jacob wandered on--as opposed to off--and queried, "Where are the leftover hamburgers?" As Josh had already answered this question at least once already he knew exactly where they were, and he told Jacob, "I think they're somewhere in the back." Jacob made a beeline for the Area Behind The Desk and came back a few seconds later with all the fixin's.
Now someone, I'm assuming Nikki, though it could have been Jennifer, put the meat away separated by type. A smart thing to do, you say. Agreed, I say. The hot dogs had one plate, the hamburgers had another. On top of each plate was another plate, like a lid. These plate-plate conglomerations were each in their own empty hamburger or hot dog bun bag.
Jacob brought one of these bags, and as soon as he saw it, Josh said, "I think those are hot dogs." Jacob said no, they were hamburgers. Josh said no, he was pretty sure they were hot dogs. As Jacob opened the bag he pointed to the front of it, which was clearly labelled "Hamburger Buns" and said, "See? Hamburgers!...Aw, man."
Well Josh and I about died. The bag was definitely full of hot dogs. "But it says HAMBURGERS!" said Jacob. "Who's the wise guy... who's the wise guy who put hot dogs in a bag that says hamburgers?!" In between gigglefits Josh told him that while his logic was probably correct, those were still hot dogs. Jacob continued to question the intelligence and motives of whoever put the hot dogs in the bag marked "Hamburgers" (though he did put the hot dogs back and get the hamburgers, which I think were in a "Hot Dog Buns" bag).
This continued for who knows how long. Suffice it to say that every time we started to calm down Josh would start laughing again and then I couldn't stop either. Jacob informed us that, "It's not that funny, guys." It was, though. Really. The conversation about "Desk maaaannn!" and "Pool Desk Guy" and "Y Guy" didn't help either.
At one point Ginna came up and commented on the fact that Jacob was eating a hamburger. "No," I said, "That's a hot dog." Jacob sighed. Cue another gigglefit. As I was leaving to rotate, Josh said, "Man, Jacob, you're gonna have to thank Nikki for that one."
"No," said I. "WE are going to have to thank Nikki for that one."
"YEAH," said Josh. Cue earlier reaction.
I'm still laughing about all this, by the way. Just so you know.
While that was definitely the high point of the night, that ain't all. Oh no. That ain't all.
I was, as you may remember, walking away to rotate. I was following Laken, who was at the bottm of the slide (Oh. That's probably where he wandered off to earlier.). It was also late, like 7:00 late. It was getting dark. It was cold. I was still damp from the last time I'd guarded the slide. I did not want to get back in the water. But no, Laken would NOT let me skip him and insisted I get in the water. So I did. Up to my neck. Before you ask, yes, I did get all the way in the water so I could give Laken a hug before I got back in the stand. Even though I'm sure like a gallon of water transferred itself from me to Laken, I was still freezing. Go figure.
Then Josh sprayed me. In my shirt.
I seriously thought that was all the excitement I could take for one night, but then we all got ready to go. Dan was in the back, putting on his Y shirt. Except that he couldn't really get it over his head.
"I don't think this is my shirt," said Dan.
"That's MY shirt!" said Ginna.
"Yeah. I was putting it on and I thought, 'This doesn't SMELL like my shirt at ALL.' "
And you tried to tell me lifeguarding was boring.
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| | Posted 9/1/2008 11:19 PM - 30 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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